After leaving Hawaii, we ended up in Great Falls Montana. What a beautiful spot. Exact opposite of Hawaii but full of crisp cool mornings and scenery that would take your breath away. Unfortunately, we moved in October. We bought clothes in Hawaii that we were sure would be warm enough, but they were not. Each month we had to buy another layer of clothing. We arrived just before Halloween and my children loved to dress up (they still do). I tried to put coats on them but they would have nothing of it, it would cover their costumes. After getting treats from two houses, they decided they had enough and they came home.
Jeff seemed to thrive in Montana at first. Some things he had to get used to. Jeff loved to go barefoot in Hawaii and Panama. Not a great thing in Montana. One morning I found Jeff in the front yard, barefoot. Jeff just stood there, in the snow and looked up at me, "OUCH". "Well Jeff," I said, " it is cold and it hurts, come in.". "OUCH". .. he would not come in. He wanted to play in the snow but he could not connect that the cold snow was causing him pain. Thank goodness he was still small enough to pick him up and carry him in to the house. It took at least one winter season for him to understand the connection. On that same note, he hated to wear socks. He never had to wear socks for the last five years. I would put on his socks then his snow boots to go out to the bus. He would scream and holler until finally I would let him wear his boots without socks, but needless to say they became quite 'stinky' after just a few days. I realized he hated the seam in the socks, they bothered him. I thought and thought, "What can I do to get that boy to wear his socks", and honestly to keep from having to smell those boots? I finally said to him, "Jeff, you have to wear socks, YOU put them on". I never had another issue. He could position them so that he did not feel the seam. Simple solution.. wish I had figured it out sooner.
Jeff loved sledding as did the rest of the family and when he was dressed in layers, he really enjoyed walking and hearing the crunching snow. We walk to a small hill near our house, pulling the old sled I used to use when I lived in Germany as a child. He would eagerly get in front of his father and they would swoosh together down the hill. It did not take long before Jeff wanted to do it by himself.
After a lot of issues with the school district, them trying to figure out where to put him, Jeff was sent to Chief Joseph Elementary School. There we met a teacher that seemed to understand autism and how to teach children that learned differently. She was very knowledgeable and could quote all the right buzz words. Daily, he would be picked up by the bus and then dropped off in the afternoon. He seemed fairly happy. One thing I do know, he LOVED his bus driver and the aide on the bus. They loved him too. The bus driver was a retired gentleman who was very grandfatherly towards Jeff. No matter what, Jeff could do no wrong. The aide was a young man that looked no more that 20 years old. He would tease Jeff and play with him, much like an older brother. Bus time was Jeff's favorite time.
During a meeting when school had already begun, I was given his IEP (Individualized Education Plan) that outlined a behavior portion. One thing it did have, it had the use of negative reinforcers. I was totally against what they had in mind. (I was against any punishment like that) If Jeff kept yelling, as he was known to do from time to time, they would put hot sauce in his mouth. As I read that I could not believe my eyes and I said "NO.. you will not put hot sauce in my son's mouth". I crossed it out and I initialed it to show the change. The teachers looked at one another and rolled their eyes. I should have figured it out right then and there. (They were stating the Lovass method for children with autism but they were using a very very old play book. The Lovass method had evolved from using such negative reinforcers to get a child to comply)
As the school year progressed Jeff began begging us not to go to school. He wasn't extremely verbal, but he got his point across almost daily. One afternoon I went out to greet the bus and the bus drive and the aide jumped off the bus. They were both shaking they were so angry. They stumbled over the words but from what I could surmise, Jeff came out to the bus after school and was crying. The bus driver asked why Jeff was crying and the aide said, "He wouldn't shut up so we put hot sauce in his mouth." Jeff had on a yellow sweat shirt and there was a red streak down the front. I immediately called the school district and the secretary was horrified. She said she would get a message to the superintendent immediately.
I called our military pediatrician and took him directly to the clinic. She looked in his mouth and saw his shirt, (I did not take it off for that very reason) and she said it was red and one blister but other than that he was physically fine. I told her that I wanted to make sure it was in his records.
They next day I heard from the superintendent and he was very condescending. When I told him I had said under no circumstances was the teacher supposed to do that, he said he had Jeff's IEP right in front of him and it was initialed that I approved this technique. I had a copy too.. could I bring it down to show him MY copy. (I wanted to do something other than show it to him) He said I was over reacting and I pulled Jeff out of school that day.
We called lawyers all over town but we were stalled at every point, "Mom works there, wife works there, friends work there.. etc etc" No one would even look at the case because honestly the school was the biggest source of employment. Finally one lawyer said that it has already been passed around town to not even talk to us. Gotta love small towns.
At this point we went to the military to see what they could do. They did not believe us, at first. There was research done, they talked to the schools, the counselors then they talked to the bus driver and the aide. They went and looked at Jeff's medical records (thank goodness I took him in) They got my copy of the IEP (I made a copy to give them.. my Mamma didn't raise a fool) and then they gave us a humanitarian move stating that the Great Falls School District was not only negligent but unable to handle children with special needs.
If you don't know how this works, the school districts get money per child in the classroom, they get more if they are a military child and much more if they are a military child with special needs. We were told that very few families with children with special needs were allowed to go to Malmstrom AFB in Montana for a couple of years, until the military was satisfied that they had changed their policies. We got them the only way we could.. through their pocket books.
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