Mama Be Good: Perpetuating the Stereotype: Autism, Parenting, & Murder
This brought on a great discussion on another blog. Comments?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Mama Be Good: Don't Do This Alone
Great article no matter if you have a child with special needs or not.
Mama Be Good: Don't Do This Alone
Mama Be Good: Don't Do This Alone
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Six Thinks You Don't Know...
I want to thank the author of this article. She said things that I knew..but could not express.
Six Things You Don't Know About Special Needs Parents
Don't know what to say to your friend or family member that has a child/adult with special needs. How about at least acknowledging their frustration and listen when they need to talk. Sometimes that is all they need... or maybe stick around so they can take a nap!!!
Six Things You Don't Know About Special Needs Parents
Don't know what to say to your friend or family member that has a child/adult with special needs. How about at least acknowledging their frustration and listen when they need to talk. Sometimes that is all they need... or maybe stick around so they can take a nap!!!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Great Article About First Responders and Autism
I just saw this report through Autism Speaks. Good information for everyone.
Fire Rescue on the Today Show
Fire Rescue on the Today Show
Thursday, March 1, 2012
What About Siblings
Great article at the bottom of the page
My daughter, Danielle (24) and I have had the discussion about being a sibling of a child with special needs many times. Having been a sibling CAMPer and then a volunteer at Camp CAMP, (camp for children and adults with special needs in Center Point, Texas) she has seen so many siblings get passed over, ignored, asked to do most of the day to day tasks, and treated unfairly due to having a brother or sister with special needs.
My husband and I made a conscious effort to work hard at not making Danielle feel like she was not as important as her brother, Jeff who is 22 and has autism. We wanted her to feel special because she is. We never wanted her to feel left out. Unfortunately, it is the nature of the situation that there are times the sibling is left out and feels unappreciated.
When we lived in Panama Jeff started showing signs of autism. Danielle was five years old and taking ballet. During her recital Jeffrey sat on my lap and when she had danced I would put his hands together to clap and then he got the hang of it and clapped on his own. When she was done she ran to us, in her little pink tutu and tights, "Jeffrey clapped for me, he liked my dancing." She gave him a huge hug and he smiled from ear to ear. We realized she needed to feel connected to him and at that moment she was.
We were definately not perfect. There were times that I was just too tired to do her "Scout" thing just after an emotional therapy session with Jeff. But usually I would get up, brush off the exhaustion and go to an event, knowing that she needed me, maybe even more that Jeff at times. There were times when my husband, at that time an Air Force Officer, would be TDY (military term, Temporary Duty or business trip to the non-military) and I would ask too much of her. Ask her to buckle his seatbelt in the van or unload the dishwasher just one more time.
I will say I have one smart daughter because often times, she adapted to this extra load. When she was tired of doing some of the extras, she took the time to teach her brother how to do it. Thanks to Danielle he now does his own seatbelt and yells at anyone that doesn't put one on, unloads the dishwasher and he carries the clean folded laundry to each person's bedroom. He feeds the dogs without being asked and he cooks his own lunch for school each day. We are still working on not over microwaving the popcorn.
Danielle is getting married. We are so excited and we love her fiance', Phillip very much. In planning the nuptuals, Danielle and Phillip went to various venues to pick the perfect one for them. They found their dream location and brought my husband and I to see it. As we arrived I saw this huge porch with rocking chairs. Then, I made a huge mistake. "That is beautiful Danielle, and if Jeff starts getting fussy we can bring him out to rock in the rocking chairs." I saw it in her eyes and drooping shoulders, "Mom, this is about us, not Jeff." She was right. At the moment of her excitement of finding the perfect place for their wedding, I was thinking of Jeff. Then she said, "That's OK, I am used to it". She shouldn't have to be 'used to it' but it is the nature of the situation.
We tried to do it right and here are some of the conscious efforts we made:
My daughter, Danielle (24) and I have had the discussion about being a sibling of a child with special needs many times. Having been a sibling CAMPer and then a volunteer at Camp CAMP, (camp for children and adults with special needs in Center Point, Texas) she has seen so many siblings get passed over, ignored, asked to do most of the day to day tasks, and treated unfairly due to having a brother or sister with special needs.
My husband and I made a conscious effort to work hard at not making Danielle feel like she was not as important as her brother, Jeff who is 22 and has autism. We wanted her to feel special because she is. We never wanted her to feel left out. Unfortunately, it is the nature of the situation that there are times the sibling is left out and feels unappreciated.
When we lived in Panama Jeff started showing signs of autism. Danielle was five years old and taking ballet. During her recital Jeffrey sat on my lap and when she had danced I would put his hands together to clap and then he got the hang of it and clapped on his own. When she was done she ran to us, in her little pink tutu and tights, "Jeffrey clapped for me, he liked my dancing." She gave him a huge hug and he smiled from ear to ear. We realized she needed to feel connected to him and at that moment she was.
We were definately not perfect. There were times that I was just too tired to do her "Scout" thing just after an emotional therapy session with Jeff. But usually I would get up, brush off the exhaustion and go to an event, knowing that she needed me, maybe even more that Jeff at times. There were times when my husband, at that time an Air Force Officer, would be TDY (military term, Temporary Duty or business trip to the non-military) and I would ask too much of her. Ask her to buckle his seatbelt in the van or unload the dishwasher just one more time.
I will say I have one smart daughter because often times, she adapted to this extra load. When she was tired of doing some of the extras, she took the time to teach her brother how to do it. Thanks to Danielle he now does his own seatbelt and yells at anyone that doesn't put one on, unloads the dishwasher and he carries the clean folded laundry to each person's bedroom. He feeds the dogs without being asked and he cooks his own lunch for school each day. We are still working on not over microwaving the popcorn.
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| The Engagement Picture Phillip and Danielle |
We tried to do it right and here are some of the conscious efforts we made:
- We tried to involve Jeff in our daughter's activities so we could attend like any other family.
- We gave the kids things to do together that would be fun like filling up a baby pool and splashing.
- We involved Danielle in what was going on with her brother. As she got older she was even more involved, by her own choice. She is now his guardian if anything should happen to us. We do not expect her to have him live in her home, but she will be the one to pick someone or the place for him to stay when the time comes that it is necessary.
- We tried with all our might to not make everything about Jeff. We were not always successful but we tried.
- Date night! We would take Danielle out, just her and one parent while the other parent stayed with Jeff. Jim took her to see Phantom of the Opera and I took her to see Cats. (I should have held out for Phantom)
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