We are truly blessed that our son goes to a camp during the summer. He goes to a place called Camp CAMP (Children's Association for Maximum Potential). Every summer since he was nine, we put his name in all of his clothes, get out his suitcase and pack all of his favorites. He has his favorite blanket just for CAMP and he has to find one hand toy to take, though in recent years we have been told that it stays in the suitcase. We pack up the truck and head to the Texas Hill Country to Camp CAMP.
Jeff is very calendar oriented. Beginning in May Camp CAMP must be on the calendar. Starting in June, we have to count down the weeks before that first day at camp. When July hits we are counting down the days. I think as parents, there are days my husband and I are counting the hours and minutes. This Sunday, Jeff checks in to his cabin and we set off smiling and happy knowing he will be having a great time in a safe environment. But it wasn't always that easy.
When Jeff started going to Camp CAMP, I did not want him to go. No one could keep my son safe and happy like I could. No one understood his body language or his mood swings... in other words, no one could care for Jeff like I could. At that time, my husband was in the military and the doctors at the clinic said I really needed to give it a try. (We found out later that CAMP was founded by Air Force docs at Lackland AFB) Everyone from my husband to my parents and friends said I needed to let Jeff go to CAMP.. to me all I heard was "You need to let him go" and I wasn't ready to do that. But my husband disagreed, strongly and I finally let him go to CAMP on the condition that his sister, Danielle went to the sibling camp that was held at the same time.
As we drove on to the Camp CAMP property we were met by a volunteer who told us where to park and where to go first. That is when I started tearing up. We went to the infirmary area where there was a circle of chairs under some trees with about twenty families with twenty children with autism all in one place. If you have ever been around children with autism, you will understand how 'interesting' that can be. We got our number and sat down. I looked around and realized that I was not alone, not the only first time CAMP parent with reservations. Some of the 'old timers' gave their advice and comfort freely. It helped to hear that they were where we were at one time.
When our turn came, Jeff cried, screamed and threw an unholy tantrum. We got him inside where we answered all of the doctors and nurses questions over a screaming Jeffrey. I was sure they were about to tell us to take him home, but they all just smiled like it was normal. Looking around I realized it was a normal thing at Camp CAMP. We checked in our daughter but of course that went much better. We took Jeff's luggage to his cabin and met his counselor. HIS counselor... not one for five kids but his very own buddy for the week. I don't remember her name, but I do remember that she made me feel more at ease. She showed me where he would sleep and where she was sleeping so that she could hear if he needed anything.
I left there in tears but I still had to get my daughter to her camp site. We met Danielle's counselors and immediately she started meeting other children who had brothers and sisters with autism. She did not feel alone or scared, she had people who understood better than anyone else how it felt to be a sibling of a child with autism. She had found her own community of friends at Camp CAMP.
As we drove away, I began to cry and I cried the whole 45 miles back to San Antonio. That night I called the Camp CAMP office to ask how he was doing, and though I called two more times that week to check on my son, I also realized something. I got to sleep! Not just sleep but sleep as long as I wanted. No one to wake me up three times during the night. I got to eat without shoving food in my mouth as fast as I can so I could take care of Jeff. I got to go to a couple of restaurants that I could never go to with Jeff and we went to a movie. No..not just one movie but three. I couldn't remember the last time we had gone to a movie that was not a cartoon or had to leave because of Jeff's behaviors.
By Friday, I was ready to see my children. We drove up to Center Point, Texas and went straight to Camp CAMP. There they were, both of my children. Jeff yelling his head off "Where's My MOM.. Where's My DAD" and Danielle smiling from ear to ear, excited to tell us about all of the other kids that were like her, sibling of someone with special needs. With Jeff yelling so much I was worried that something had gone wrong, but Danielle was quick to point out that she saw him many times during the week and he was fine. "Mom, he is only doing that to make you feel guilty." She was right, Jeff was 'playing' me.
Year two was easier but I still cried and I called the CAMP office two times. By the third year I waved and said goodbye with no tears from Mom.
Danielle was asked to be a counselor the summer she was 14 (the youngest age you can be a counselor) and she was very excited, but one incident almost ruined a great week. She was down at canoeing wither her CAMPer when there was a call from a walkie-talkie, "Can Danielle come to the infirmary? Her brother is having a bad tantrum and we could use her help". Danielle ran up the hill and all the way to the infirmary. She burst in the room and in her loudest voice, "Jeffrey Thomas.. what do you think you are doing young man? You better cut it out NOW". At that moment, Jeff realized that he was not going to get away with anything with sister around. On Friday, at the awards assembly, Jeff was awarded the 'CAMPer of the Week' award.
There have still been incidents from time to time that have caused a problem but over all he is always behaves at Camp CAMP. He also sleeps through the night for them.. they keep him very busy. He attends weekend CAMP during the school year and goes to another program called Teen and Adult Day Adventure (TADA) once a month. We have become a CAMP Family.
Some things have changed as he got older. His sister Danielle was a counselor for seven years and for the last two years she has been what is affectionately known as the "office wench". She is the one that gets the frantic calls from the parents of first time CAMPers, calms their fears and helps them find out how their child is doing at Camp CAMP. Having heard the stories she has to tell about the parents, I wish I could find the poor girl who answered the phone when I called to thank her. I now work for CAMP and every check-in and check-out day I am at Camp CAMP. Jeff is now 21 and this summer is his last summer as a regular CAMPer. Starting next summer he will be attending a session for adults with special needs. Things are definitely different from that first summer.
It is bitter sweet, his last week as a regular CAMPer because I found out that at least two of the CAMPers that were with him during his first week at CAMP will be there his last week at regular CAMP. Justin and Nate will be there and I am sure their sisters, who were both at sibling CAMP when Danielle started will be there to help them settle in. Great way to end this chapter at Camp CAMP and a great way to start a new one.
Last summer, Jeff made me cry again. I was working at Camp CAMP when he came by with his buddy (counselor) Mason and said,
"Mom, hurry and go away so I can have fun". Though I am so happy he is more independent, I have to admit that a part of me wants him to miss me just a little bit.
