It Has Been a Long Time

For those of you that have stuck around, thank you. 

Jeff on graduation day

Life has been more than crazy lately, it has been insane.  My son Jeffrey graduated from the Reddix Center in May.  He was excited for all of the attention but he is very sad about not being with his friends at the Reddix.  He has cried and begged me to let him go back to the Reddix.  (The Nellie Reddix Center in San Antonio, Texas. It is a public school for transition that students who have special needs can go until they are 22 years of age) How do you explain that he has to move on?  He doesn't understand that he is an adult.  When you ask him how old he is, he will always say he is 13. When we tell him he is 23 he keeps saying over and over that he is "just a kid". 



Jeff with his sister, Danielle, on the right
and good friend Alex on the left

He has started to settle in at the Arc of San Antonio.  Though it is not ideal, there is a great effort to make it sensory friendly and age appropriate.  This summer he started in a room that has no more than 10 adults with sensory issues.  They have computers, head phones, mats and other activities.  His teacher, Mike, is an amazing young man.  He has the patience of a saint.  The aide in his room is Rose.  Between these two people, Jeff is doing well.  But.. he still begs to go to the Reddix.  At the Reddix they had out of class activities daily.  At the Arc it is only once a month due to lack of transportation and staffing.  This has made Jeff very sad.  He loves to go on adventures. 

Jeff with his CAMP Buddy from
Summer 2012, June, who is a
pre-med student at Vanderbilt University

What we have been trying to do is to have Jeff involved in every CAMP activity possible.  CAMP (Children's Association for Maximum Potential) is a place we found when Jeff was nine years old. At first he just went one week each summer.   Now he goes each summer and each weekend that we can get him there.  He also goes to a program called TADA (Teen and Adult Day Adventure) Once a month he goes out with his CAMP buddies to a different social event (December is a dance at a local college) with CAMP teens and typical teens. 

Before I go further I want to let you know I work for CAMP.  I started in 2005, several years after my children started attending.  There are times I tell people I wish I did not work at there so I could tell them all about CAMP without sounding like a commercial.  Jeff has been going since he was nine, my daughter Danielle started at Sibling CAMP when she was eleven.  Danielle became a volunteer at fourteen and for the last three summers she has been the Camp CAMP Office Administrator.  My husband has even jumped in from time to time to help at check-in or wherever he can.

This has been a tough transition.  I am not sure we are through with it yet.  He begs me to go to the Reddix almost daily.  He also wants to go to "science school".  He loves science.. he gets that from his father.  Jim is a science teacher at an intermediate school.  Once I asked him he wanted to be a science teacher like his dad.  He thought about it for a minute and said, "No.. I want to be a substitute".  Smart Man! 

Not sure there will ever be an "end" to the transition. We have so many changes coming up in our lives, some we know about and many we do not.  What do we do about his future?  Where will we end up living?  Where will Jeff end up living?  So many changes coming that it is a little scary.  So I just hang on for the ride... not sure of the destination.

Respite Weekend at CAMP

Jeff as a Ninja Turtle during Summer Camp CAMP

This last weekend Jeff went to Respite Weekend at Camp CAMP.  He has been going to Camp CAMP in the summer since he was nine years old but in the last few years he has also been going to Respite Weekends.  It is one weekend a month, September through May at Camp CAMP in Center Point, Texas. (CAMP Website)

I needed this weekend.  Not that I don't love having my son around, but I have learned something through the years;  I need to miss him from time to time.  A weekend here and there, summer CAMP once a year for a week, and TADA also known as Teen and Adult Day Adventure. Usually one Saturday or Sunday a month during the Respite Season,TADA is a program through CAMP (Children's Association for Maximum Potential) that pairs up typical teens and adults with teens and young adults with developmental delays.  They gather together and go to a Spurs game (basketball for you non-sports types), Sea World or the annual trip to the Rivercenter Mall in downtown San Antonio in December. Jeff seems to love the socialization and I get a small break, knowing Jeff is having a great time.

My father, Bill Spearman with Ben Elble

This last weekend I was a little concerned.  Jeff has been having some medication issues and I was worried he might have a melt down at Respite Weekend.  I called all my CAMP friends that were going to be there, warned them about behavior issues and made sure they knew they could call me if they needed me to pick him up early.  To my amazement, Jeff did great!  He was given an experienced counselor,  (thank you Oscar) and all of his usual friends were around.  Alex, Drew and Ben Elble.  Ben is the Associate Camp Director at Camp CAMP and I call him the "Jeff Whisperer".  I don't know how, but Ben seems to be able to calm Jeff down when no one else can.  He sees Jeff as Jeff and not a challenge.. just his buddy.  Scary thing is Jeff is twice Ben's size, but "Mr. Ben" as Jeff calls him, is not daunted in the least.  He is calm and just expects good behavior.  Most of the time, Jeff complies and when he doesn't all "Mr. Ben" has to do is say "JEFF" and my son will say, "Sorry Mr. Ben" and that is the end of it. 

Danielle with her fiance' Phillip

Thanks to CAMP and "Mr. Ben" I got a great weekend with my husband and daughter and a surprise guest, my daughter's fiance, Phillip.  He lives quite a ways away and he surprised her for Valentine's Day.  It was truly a great weekend.  Not only did we have a great weekend but so did Jeff.  It was truly a guilt-free respite.